Hey y’all! Today, I don’t really want to talk about love per say rather the idea that simply saying those three words to someone holds so much weight. I even want to go a little deeper and figure out why we even let words and titles decipher how we move on a day to day basis.
This blog post was inspired by Issa Rae. I’m currently reading her book “The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl” and she has a chapter entitled Public Displays of Affection. In this chapter she talks about how much she hates PDA and how just because you say those three little words (“I love you” if you’re not following) it all of a sudden changes something. When in true fashion, if you don’t have the actions to back it up what does saying “I love you” even matter?!
This chapter then had me reflecting on my most sacred relationships and in most of them I never tell them “I love you” on an everyday basis rather I show them in my actions by showing up and being present in our interactions, being a support person to and for them, and just overall authentically enjoying them. Does our relationship mean less because it isn’t legitimized by those three words?!
This then got me to thinking about how we as millennials live in a generation where we need words or titles to legitimize our feelings or interactions with people. This can go back to why people boast about being a wife and not merely a girlfriend but honestly sis what more does a wife have that a girlfriend doesn’t?! Yes, you have some perks but overall what was the drastic change from the moment you walked down the aisle and said those vows? Like did you all get inducted into some secret club that us girlfriends aren’t privy to?
Am I making this post to bash wives? No! Because I one day hope to be one. I believe marriage is beautiful thing and always genuinely excited when friends or loved ones take that next major step in their relationship. I’m making this post to challenge you to check your bias and/or privilege before posing judgement on someone for not meeting said standard society has imprinted in our brains as a way of life. I’m making this post to let all my millennial girl bosses know that it’s OK to go against the status quo. Sis if marriage isn’t for you, don’t get married! If kids aren’t for you, don’t have them! Stop letting words or titles shape your life and how you move. Don’t let society tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
One thing I’ve learned is sometimes we hope and pray for certain things but sis if you got everything you hoped and prayed for are you honestly ready to receive it? Like would you know how to even handle it? I think we often times bite off way more than we can even handle and wonder why we are so stressed. It’s ok to live and be present in the moment and realize what’s meant for you will always be for you and what misses you was never meant for you!
I think the beautiful thing about the generation that we live in is that we can unapologetically be ourselves. I see so many people living their divine purpose and not looking back. It’s truly inspiring to interact with happy whole people because they truly want to see you elevate and be the truest form of yourself. Since we talking secret clubs that’s honestly one that I would love to be inducted into!
“And when the world tells you to shrink, expand. Remember: You have done enough. You are enough. You were born enough. The world is waiting on you.” – Elaine Welteroth