Today, I did a thing…. I went ahead and deleted my Facebook app leaving me with no social media cold turkey. I don’t know how long this will last but I felt mentally drained from it. I’m sure you all have heard about the passing of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna. It’s a very sad situation and my deepest condolences go out to all of the families involved but this post is not about that rather the affect death has had on me mentally.

Let me break it down a little deeper, I am not a basketball fan in the least bit. I didn’t keep up with Kobe Bryant. When people asked who was my favorite basketball player I would say Kobe Bryant only because he was all I knew growing up. When I heard the news, yes I was initially sad as anyone would be but for some reason this death seemed more personal than others.

Death, is always hard no matter if you personally knew someone or not. The idea that someone that you know or even knew of will no longer physically be here on earth is mind blowing to me. Like I sometimes cannot even wrap my head around the idea of it all and I think that is the hardest thing to deal with.

It seems like since I’ve moved back to my hometown its been so much death surrounding me and this death was the tipping block. Because of this, I wanted to take some time to do a mental health check in with myself and lay my feelings about it out there. I’m not making this post to scare anyone or make anyone feel bad for how they mourn, I am doing this for myself and my peace of mind. The power of being able to pour your feelings out there does wonders to the soul so here are my feelings.

Death is scary. Death is inevitable. Does anyone just stay up at night and think about these things like I do sometimes? I wouldn’t say I’m infatuated with death rather the unknown of it all. I do know though that right now in this moment, I have the power to live my life however I choose to. Whether I choose to live it to the fullest or the bare minimum I’m choosing to live it. Life is a choice and I really need to stop being so uptight and take things one day at a time.

I’ve said this time and time again but we as millennial girl bosses bite off way more than we can chew sometimes and I’m calling myself out on it in this moment because mentally, I cannot handle it! I am learning more and more each day to live by the premise of why I started this blog and protecting my peace!

What are some things you all do to protect your peace?

-Sy.M.Ba

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” —Wayne W. Dyer

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