Hey y’all! I took some time off from posting but I’m making up for it because this post is more lengthy than usual so bare with me. My main reason for my break was because even through COVID, my life has been in such a transitional phase. Let me explain.

I started a new job in April. I literally manifested this job and it’s here! Let me talk to y’all for a minute about how things divinely worked out. My first job out of grad school I worked as a Community Health Worker (CHW). I often times questioned why I was starting my career in that multitude because it was so different from what I wanted to but…. the way things work out!

While serving as a CHW, I was introduced to a space that I now realize is my public health purpose and passion, maternal and child health (MCH). From that point on, all my roles to come fell within that space. Back then, I feared pigeon holing myself in my career so when moving back to Chicago a year ago I applied for jobs completely out of the scope of work I was used to. After a couple of months of applying, I got a job with an organization that was completely different from what I was accustomed to and I was ecstatic to begin diversifying my resume.

While in this role, I got exactly what I wanted. I learned so much about different aspects of public health and grew a ton both professionally and personally. I was able to be exposed to different cultures and truly take a huge step back from the community engagement aspect I was used to. Although this was everything I thought I wanted, I noticed myself still not being as intrinsically motivated like how I was when in the MCH space.

As time went on, I told myself to stay consistent and don’t actively search for a new position because at this point my resume was looking pretty unstable. I challenged myself to continue to learn what I can out of this role and when an opportunity presented itself, I would know. At this point I also was starting to realize that the MCH space was the space I wanted to be in so I was only applying to jobs that fell within that realm.

Months later, an opportunity (my current job) presented itself. I applied on a whim and didn’t think anything of it because let’s face it we all submit applications and think nothing of it because what are the chances we actually get a call back? In this case though, the chances were very high because I did indeed get a call back to come in for an interview.

When I got that call, I scheduled the interview for the following week. I still didn’t think anything of it because I knew going into it the candidate pool was extremely competitive. I went into the interview, portfolio in hand, still not the least bit nervous because I never came to terms with how high the possibility of me getting the job was. While in the interview, I showed personality, my capabilities, and visual representations of what I would bring to the table (my portfolio) and not an ounce of uncertainty. The way I talked about myself and my experience actually amazed me because I’ve never been so comfortable in an interview. I walked out, called my sister, and my exact words were, “Yeah I killed it!” LOL.

A couple of weeks had passed and I still hadn’t heard back from them so I’m like wait maybe I didn’t kill it, so I follow up. From that follow up they said they haven’t finalized a decision and it would be two more weeks. Y’all, at this point I convinced myself that I didn’t get the job and they didn’t want to tell me yet because they have not finalized the hiring process with the chosen candidate. But to my surprise I got a call at around 4PM a month after interviewing, offering me the job! Y’all! When I say I was floored…. FLOORED!

Fast forward to today as I reflect on my journey to get here… everything literally worked in a divine order. From me starting my career being a community health worker to me now supervising them. From me busting my ass ( I try not to curse on this platform but that’s how hard I was working) to get sponsors and community orgs to come together to host a community baby shower in Cincinnati to that being the very thing that my current job wants to start to implement. From me literally not knowing anything about REDCap but being open to learning and perfecting my skill set by attending free trainings to that currently being the system my current job is transitioning to! Y’all when I say everything… EVERYTHING was divinely set and I couldn’t be more grateful.

But now what? I spoke with a friend yesterday about my new role and was really speaking doubtfully and literally trying my hardest to find something to be negative or mad about. Her exact words to this was, “ Im sitting here listening to you waiting on you to say the problem and I haven’t heard not one yet! Do you even know what’s the problem?” First off, Yes! Please gather me and get me all the way together sis! LOL.

I’m at a point in my life where I literally have everything I’ve been wanting and asking for career wise and I’m still looking to complain about something. Why? I’m scared of truly being happy about situations because of my fear of what’s negative to come. You ever felt bad for being happy about something because you know it’s momentary and the next negative thing for you to be mad/sad about is right around the corner? That’s exactly how I was feeling! I’m ALWAYS on edge trying to figure out what bad thing will happen next. I also oftentimes feel guilty for being happy about my success because I don’t want it to be snatched away from me in a matter of minutes.

In efforts to combat this, I’ve challenged myself to celebrate me (this post being the start of my celebration). This is a challenge I often give myself but I feel it’s even more possible with all this free time I have due to COVID. I have worked very hard to get everything I have and that alone deserves celebration. I’m also reminding myself daily to humbly flex and be proud of what I’ve accomplished while all the while still grind to reach all my professional goals I’ve set for myself.

-Sy.M.Ba.

“Too often in life, something happens and we blame other people for us not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So the point is, we all have choices, and we make the choice to accept people or situations or to not accept situations.” – Tom Brady

This week is my first week I got to get a casual taste of the office life & these curls have been giving me LIFE!

2 Replies to “Rejected or Projected?”

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