Hey y’all! Today I want to digest balancing platonic and romantic relationships and being THAT friend that life revolves around her man. This post was prompted from Insecure when Molly fought harder for her relationship with Andrew than she did her friendship with Issa. I don’t know about y’all but I’ve been on both sides of this where I’ve been guilty and a victim.

As you all know, I am in a committed relationship and initially it was very hard for me to balance the two at first. I say that because initially, you want to be all in with your partner so that leaves little space or time for your friends. It wasn’t until I went through some rough patches with my partner that I understood I need my tribe as well!

In life, it’s so easy to choose romantic relationships over platonic ones but I’m here to tell you, sis it’s ok and actually healthier to have both! I say this because you need your man for certain reasons and you need your tribe for certain reasons and that’s ok! & if you are in a relationship that doesn’t feel like it’s ok then I encourage you to rethink that relationship because it’s showing signs of control and isolation.

For me, my partner and I biggest strength and downfall is that we lived isolated from everyone in a new city for years so in that time we were very dependent upon each other for just about everything because we didn’t have true authentic circles like we did in our home town. The strength in this was that we built a very healthy foundation for a friendship that could withstand a lot of test of time without the judgement from others. The weakness though was that I was becoming a bit to dependent of him so when he had plans I was stuck wallowing in my boredom & sorrows. It wasn’t until I started developing my Cincinnati tribe that I understood the importance of having both because I needed that outlet to decompress.

So, what I’m trying to say is… have both and take both equally serious! Your friendships matter just as much as your relationship does because once you lose one you’ll have the other to depend on. Social interactions of multiple facets are so important for your mental health and during this time of self isolation and social distancing!

-Sy.M.Ba

“Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.” – Miles Franklin

Promise I’m not crazy wearing this sweater in the midst of summer. This was taken a month ago when Chicago was still feeling like fall.

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