SMB-Day: Selfish Year (27) Turned Selfless Year (28)

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Hey y’all! So I’m back today with another reflective SMB-Day post to speak on something that I’ve currently faced this year a little more than ever that has both positively and negatively affected me… being selfish!

They say the first step to improve upon something is admittance so here it goes… I AM SELFISH! I’ve been this way for all that I can remember but this year my selfishness was at an all time high! I’ll be the first (well second because my partner already called me out on it) to say… I am not impressed! Somewhere down the line I have developed a mentality that feels as though I need to always choose me because if I don’t then who will?! As empowering as that may sound, it has been of both benefit and detriment to my life.

It has been a benefit because I can call BS easily! The minute I feel like I’m being used I instantly put my guard up and remove myself from the situation. On the exact flip side of this though when easily calling BS, I remove myself from situations prematurely when I didn’t even fully receive the lesson or benefit. Example: I meet a lot of people on a day to day basis whether it is my professional or personal life. Only about 1% actually makes it past a month of interacting because of a presumptuous selfish idea that I created about them. This idea can be that they are using me for something, they aren’t communicating how I want to communicate, they don’t breath how I want them too… y’all see where I’m going… Any minor inconvenience for me, I instantly feel as though it’s a means to remove myself from the situation.

Being so selfish has shown me that sometimes I ruin a lot of things before they even start because my mindset going into the situation is so negative. I always have my guard up with people I shouldn’t even have a guard up with. I literally worry all the time about if a person is getting over on me that I don’t have time to truly live in that moment and receive everything else that person is giving me. I go through life with the idea that, being selfish will prevent me from going through things but how much BS is that? In life we go through things and you know what? That’s Ok!! Yes, being selfish can prevent a lot of things but it can also prevent a lot of things. READ THAT AGAIN! Yes, I’m preventing a lot of stress but I’m also preventing a lot of opportunities.

So you know what 28?! Although I’m still living through what society deems my selfish years, I’m claiming this year will be the year I begin to practice grace. I’m claiming to find a balance between being selfish and selfless. I’m claiming my space in this world that involves loving on me but at the same time loving on others in a selfless manner that doesn’t deviate from my values. I challenge you to join me on this journey if a lot of this post resonated with you on a personal or professional level! You got this…. WE got this!

-Sy.M.Ba.

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” – Oscar Wilde

Getting the last wears of my biker shorts out as the first day of fall is tomorrow! Just WOW!

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